Well this year 2009 I entered into advent with full knowledge of this and even begun advent with a prayer that I can prepare myself as best I can. Unfortunately I eventually got caught up with the business of the season - the stress of christmas shopping , dealing with family politics on the venue and menu for christmas eve dinner, participating in not one but two caroling groups, as well as trying hard to clear up my work schedule in a short working month of december. These gave me a convenient excuse to neglect my own preparations, and at the same time I felt and saw myself turning into a bitter and impatient person ; forgetting the true meaning of christmas. I skipped ( or avoided ) all penitential services.
As the days drew closer to christmas, I headed down to singapore where I thought I could catch a last minute reconciliation service. I was wrong all services was over and there were no more opportunity to attend confession for christmas. So much for house keeping.
On christmas eve, after the usual family dinner celebrations, there were the difficult discussion on when to attend Mass and when to open the presents as everyone had differing opionions and requirements. I announced that I will go for midnight mass on my own
As I walked to church , I became painfully aware of how I neglected the real reason for christmas. I neglected in preparing myself to welcome him - despite caroling Joy to the world in many homes. My heart and soul was no where near a state of grace befitting to welcome my saviour.
I stopped by the grotto before I went for mass and made a last minute plea to our Blessed Mother for the grace to truly be able to still welcome her son as she once did. I walked into chruch and sat in the pew. I half listened to the carols from the choir, contemplating and praying on how unprepared I was. I then realised that Jesus was borned in a manger, one of the lowliest and dirtiest place possible. He was not born in the best of hospitals, but among barn animals.
I realised that Our Lord came down among the lowliest to save us. He did not come to work with the mighty and rich, but among the poorest - poor and weak in many ways
I recall Fr Mike said that no matter how late you started your preparations , as long as you do , to open your heart sincerly and truly to welcome Him- that is all that matters. The labourer who worked for the last hour is paid the same wages as the labourer who started at dawn.
Despite my failings and sins , I am still His Beloved. I am His chosen one as I have chosen Him. He is mine and I am His. He has called me by my name before I was formed. For He is truly a merciful and loving God, and His love knows no boundaries.
" Unto us a child is born. And He will be called Mighty counselor, Prince of Peace, Almight God..."
Regards ,
Lincoln Lee
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