You are my son, the beloved, my favour rest upon you

The baptism of the Lord has always been a scripture passage that I have turned to in times of troubles and challenged. But it is also a passage that has baffled me for a while, particularly the part about the baptism of Jesus. The church teaches us that Baptism, is to remit sin especially original sin, restores us to communion with God and so that we are given this indelible mark that claims us a God’s children.

Yet why did Jesus actually needed to be baptised, since He is the divine, true God and True Man. Jesus did not carry any taint of original sin, nor would he have committed any sin, and He already is the son of God, and is in Communion with God. 

So this passage today in my reflections, has revealed 3 things to me. 

1. The heavens open

Jesus was sent by God the father to fulfil his ultimate covenant, to bring mankind back to communion with God. By His action in baptism, he affirms his obedience to God the father, which opened up the Heavens , not for himself, but for us mankind. It was a hint to the mission of Jesus here on earth, the building of God’s kingdom here on 

earth.

2. Baptism of Jesus

As the 2nd reading from the Letter of St Paul to Titus, “By means of cleansing water of rebirth that he GENEROUSLY poured over us through Jesus Christ … so that we be justified by His grace”. Jesus is the divine, and did not need the sacrament of baptism like us, but unlike our baptism, where the waters of baptism sanctifies and remits our sins, Jesus’s baptism sanctifies the water. It was by this action, that Jesus instituted the first sacrament that opens up for us the promise of ever lasting life with God.

3. You are my son, the beloved, my favour rest upon you

This is my favourite part. This is where God the father affirms his Love for Jesus and calls him “My beloved”. It is a beautiful phrase, to hear and know that I am the beloved of God. When you know you are God’s beloved, somehow the troubles of this world doesn’t seem to get to you as much. 

Many of us will not recall our own baptism, as we have been baptised as a baby. Yet this somewhat small and probably insignificant action by Jesus, actually speaks volumes of his ministry here on earth for our own salvation. 

Through the waters of baptism which Jesus has sanctified, we are recipients of the abundant graces of God and the promise of salvation. Through this sanctified waters, Jesus has claimed us to be God’s Children. Through His actions and by virtue of our own baptism, we are called to be like Jesus to build God’s kingdom here on earth, in our obedience to God the father. Finally, just as Jesus has claimed us as God’s Children and for us the rewards of eternal life, we too can claim a share to “ You are my son, the beloved, my favour rest upon you”

Amen

Spirituality of A Diocesan Priest

"Taken from the community , by the community, and for the community"

During my parish pastoral assignment here at Assumption Church, Petaling Jaya, I have come to a deeper realization of the spirituality of a diocesan priest. In my discussions with Fr Gregory Chan, the Parish Priest of Assumption Church, he explained to me that the charism of a Diocesan Priest is availability and the spirituality of the Diocesan Priesthood is from the people, for the people.

As I sat in the pews in reflection during Mass, I came to realization the depths of his view of the spirituality of a diocesan priest. Particularly with the readings from  Mark 6:34-44 ( Tuesday after Epiphany's Gospel).  A diocesan priest, draws his spirituality from his congregation, like how Jesus takes the 5 loaves and 2 fishes from the crowd that was following him.  From there, the priest sanctifies, blesses, break and gives back to the congregation their offerings, feeding their spiritual growth. Just like how Jesus took the bread and fishes, blessed it, broke it and shared it out - feeding 5,000 over with 12 basketfuls of leftovers.

Hence a diocesan priest, draws his spirituality from his flock, and returns it back to his flock, just as Jesus did at the feeding of the five thousand. As the congregation prays for their priest, he too prays for them in return, as well as to administers to their spiritual needs. This is how a diocesan priest, reflects the spirituality of Jesus Christ in his daily ministry.

Act of Love of St. John Vianney

This beautiful prayer struck me deeply , with it’s simplicity and humility, yet a beautiful and powerful prayer.

 

“I love You, O my God, and my sole desire is to love You until the last breath of my life.  I love You, O infinitely lovable God, and I prefer to die loving You than to live one instant without loving You.

I love You, O my God, and I do not desire anything but heaven so as to have the joy of loving You perfectly.

I love You, O my God, and I fear hell, because there will not be the sweet consolation of loving You.

O my God, if my tongue cannot say in every moment that I love You, I want my heart to say it in every beat.  Allow  me the grace to suffer loving You, to love you suffering, and one day to die loving You and feeling that I love You. And as I approach my end, I beg you to increase and perfect  my love of You.” ~ St John Vianney

 

Sacraments Vs Sacramentals

 Holy water plays an important role in the sacraments of the church , as well as the sign of the cross – a self blessing. However the use of Holy Water during the Sign of the Cross is not a necessity to celebrate the sacraments in the church or to begin worship. As the article writes , it serves as a  reminder of our baptism in Christ. Similarly , during Easter Mass, when the priest blesses the congregation with Holy Water, or during the Passion Mass, when the priest blesses the Palms, if the holy water doesn’t touch you (or the palms) , does it mean that you are not “Baptized again” or that your palms are not “Blessed” , This is certainly not the case  !

 My question to you , is our faith based only on such external signs. Then without it , is our faith weakened ? The practice of our faith , should be based on a deeper understanding of Christ’s Love and Mercy, as well as the mysteries of the Sacraments that he instituted for us. The celebration of the Sacraments are key foundations to our faith. Would the Hail Mary’s be less devoted if we used a Rosary that isn’t blessed ? Is a house blessing by the Head of the household, any less meaningful ? Would my prayers and blessing for you be any less worthy of God’s attention , then that of a priest ? Is the sign of the cross, any less holy without Holy Water? Can we pray, even if we do not have a holy picture in front of us ?

 I believe that the sacramentals such as Holy water, and blessings are important aspects of the practice of our religion , but not a necessary part. It serves as a reminder of the practice of our faith, externally to the public as well as internally to ourselves, but our Faith in Christ should never waver even with the absence of the sacramentals.  He is the Lamb that paid the price of our sins with His own blood, and that is what is important in our faith.

 I personally see the Sacraments brings us to Communion with Christ and the Church, while the Sacramentals serves as a daily reminder of the practices of our faith

The Pain of Lent

Lent is often called the blessed season; rightly so as it is a season of spiritual preparation and renewal. The Catholic church realizes that we as human may not truly appreciate the season of Lent if we just blitz through it in 3 days like what Jesus did in the Passion Death and Resurrection. Instead a preparation of 40 days is needed for both the individual and the church to prepare for this great mystery. Even Jesus prepared his disciples over a period and He himself went through 40 days of fasting and prayer to prepare Himself for the task at hand.

However I realize that in the season of lent, we ourselves face a spiritual darkness, or perhaps we are more aware of our own spiritual darkness. It is in this season, if truly observed and practiced brings to us an awareness of our sins. This awareness highlights the impact of our sins on our soul and our relationship with God. It is a painful awareness that in our failings and weaknesses, we distant ourselves from our Loving God.

No doubt that the focus of Lent is rarely on this spiritual darkness but instead on the Loving grace of God's mercy. The focus is instead using this spiritual darkness to lead us to a conversion of our hearts and minds, after being painfully aware of our sins. Rightfully so, as the focus of christ has always been on our salvation and not on the account of our sins and failings.

That is truly and rightfully the objective of Lent. I guess before we can truly appreciate something good, we need to experience what we are missing, then only we will appreciate the Gift Christ gave us on the cross.

This is also why the. Sacrament of reconciliation is so important during lent. It allows us to partake in the mysteries of lent in that short 10 mins , where we suffer for our sins when we confess, we die to our sins in the act of contrition , and we are resurrected again through the absolution given in confession.

No doubt lent is a beautiful season when taken seriously and practiced whole heartedly.
Regards ,

Lincoln Lee

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Mark 3:13-19

In todays gospel jesus called his 12 disciples to the mountain and they came to him including Judas the one who'll betray him.

As we are called by Him, we have 12 body parts that we can use for his service. 2 eyes, 2 ears , 1 mouth, 1 brain , 1 heart , 2 hands, 2 Legs , 1 body.

And since we like the disciples are called to his service annointed and empowered, so are our ourselves called to do the same. But like the 12 disciples where 1 betrays Jesus , we too have a part of Judas in each of us. Which one of our 12 body parts will betray Jesus each day.

Will we turn our eyes from injustice, or a deaf ear to a sympathetic friend, or use our minds for mischief, or use our hands to hurt some one , or our mouth to spread gossip, or close our heart to other ppls's suffering. Each time any of ourselves betrays Jesus, we betray His love and annointing, and we crucify him again.
Regards ,

Lincoln Lee

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Talk about Expectations & Annointing

I went to this site on the net, out of fun to check out which bible verse is associated with my Birthday. Boy was I in for a shock. Haha talk about high expectations and anointing. And only yesterday I was praying for God's anointing ! Sigh…….

 

Isaiah 9:6 NIV
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

If you so will you can make me clean. MK 1: 40-45.

In todays Gospel, a leper came and begged Jesus for pity and to be healed. When Jesus healed him, he was instructed to keep quiet present himself to the high priest and offer up a sacrifice as the teachings of moses. But instead the moment he left Jesus, he went telling everyone and ppl start crowding around Jesus to the point that He could not teach

In reflection, Jesus heals all of us but often he wants us to proclaim his glory through our actions rather then through our words. He wants us to give back to him in our own sacrifice. And instead when we think we know better and decide to only speak of his glory , through our intentions although Good was not what Jesus wanted. In the end by simply proclaiming Jesus was prevented from conducting his ministry.

So in summary, we are not always called to proclaim Gods glory , but we are also called to action. We are not only called to speakof Gods Glory but more important to procaim his glory through our daily lives. Without action we may simply cause Jesus more headache :).
Regards ,

Lincoln Lee

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Five Loaves and Two Fishes

Ever wonder what this story in the Gospel means to you. I was reflecting on this last night, and I discerned another meaning to this story. In a nutshell, Jesus was preaching to a large crowd of people, approximately 5,000, when it was getting late. His disciples advised Jesus that He should send the crowd off to the farms and towns to look for their own food. Instead Jesus asked the disciples to bring what food they had; which was Five Loaves of Bread and 2 Fishes, Blessed it and distributed it enough to feed 5000 people, with 12 baskets full to spare. Interestingly the Gospel reading starts off with saying that Jesus noticed the large crowd, moving around like Sheep with out a Shepherd, and He decide to preach to them.

 

A simple and lovely story on how Jesus takes care of his flock. For me I further understood it that it the Five Loaves and Two Fishes really represented the gifts that we have. The number of items , 7 in total could reflect the gifts/ fruits of the spirit. Yet these simple and meager gifts, 5 loaves and 2 Fishes, especially in today's context – really boring meals, barely enough for our own self and not others, through the grace and blessing of Jesus, are multiplied to serve many others, and still be blessed with many more that it is abundantly overflowing. The 5 Loaves and 2 Fishes, were taken from a little boy in the crowd, symbolizing how Jesus, can use your gifts to serve many of his wondering flock.

 

A further important part of the reflection, is that these gifts without Jesus, will still remain the 5 loaves and 2 fishes, that could only feed the little boy. However in the midst of "Chaos" and with Jesus as our shepherd, and through His nurturing and blessings of the gifts we have, our potential is limitless and overflowing. He uses the simple things in our life, to bring our the full potential we can be, to reach out to the lost and searching, and fills them with good things

 

Putting God First

In our busy daily lives, and in our pursuit of worldly matters, we often forget to put God first. Especially in our simple daily task, and in times of joy and happiness, we tend to forget God's loving influence and touch in our daily lives. I myself would admit that I often forget to put God first, especially when I am enjoying myself and having a good time. And conversely it is worrying that I tend to turn to God at times of turbulent, and troubles.

 

If we consider God as a close friend, the reverse would actually be true. We often share happy moments with our loved one's, announcing and celebrating significant milestones with them such as promotions, parties and etc, yet we similarly neglect or tend to forget to share these moments with God. Honestly, if God was human, I am sure that He would be greatly offended. But ..then again, that’s the beauty of God, He is not human. He is the almighty, the ever merciful and compassionate.

 

God not only loves us in our best moments, but His love for us does not change in our darkest moments. His love is deeper then the deepest ocean and longer lasting then eternity. His love is always there, and He loves us so much, that He does not compel or force us to love him back . He wants a genuine and loving relationship, and will always be standing there whenever we are ready to turn to Him. When I reflect on this, I realized, there is no man / woman on earth that exemplifies this love , or anywhere close to it, yet we often seek out belonging and relationships with our fellow human beings rather then turning to God.

 

In recent times, I've learnt that putting God first in whatever you do, somehow makes things easier. In times of happiness and joy, to share your happiness with Him, and to thank him for the abundant blessings he has graced me with, and in difficult times, to offer a prayer, admitting my own weakness, and to ask for His guidance and presence to be with me. By doing this, especially in difficult times, things do not turn out as bad as I would have expected.

 

Like before going into a meeting or conversation, knowing well that it could be a problematic one, I offer a prayer, asking for help, patience, guidance and wisdom, and without fail, things turn out better then expected. Or when I am enjoying myself on a holiday with great company, in a beautiful surrounding, I marvel at God's creation, and the perfection of His creation, the sunsets, the breeze, the waves of the sea, and I thank him for giving me the opportunity to experience these things , and with the people I care for.

 

I admit that it I often forget to practice this, but when I do, I find the experience a lot better, and sweeter for me. I appreciate what I have and am grateful for my many blessings. In difficult times, I then see His loving and guiding hand, protecting me from harm, and supporting me in my challenges.

Questions on the Practices of the Catholic Faith

I was recently asked a few questions regarding the practices of the catholic faith by an atheist friend with regards to homosexualty, women priest and the vows of celibacy.

Apparently I wrote it well enough that they thought I googled it for them. I assure you it was written entirely by myself.

So here are the questuions and my reponse to it based on my limited understanding of the teachings of the Catholic church.

Homosexuality - The act of homosexuality is seen as an act that is agaisnt nature. Sex is intended for the creation of life between a married couple. Although married couples may have sex on a frequent basis - contraceptives are not allowed, as it will interfere with the creation of life ( act of God) . Hence although sex can be out of pleasure, the married couple should be ready to accept the resulting factor of a baby if it so happens. Hence homosexual sex , is a sexual act, whereby no life can be created, hence an unnatural act. Similar to masturbation, as no life can result from it. Premarital & Extramarital sex is also a sin, because these "unions" are of a self serving nature, and destroys the sanctity of the institution of marriage. However it must be emphasized that it is the act of Homosexuality that is despised and not the homosexual individual , as the Church views all creation of God as Holy and beloved, irregardless of their actions.

Women Priest - Jesus's 12 apostles were all male ( all appointed by Him) , and Peter was apointed the first pope of the catholic church. Going down the line of popes, it is believed that it must be passed on to a male. In addition to this, the pope leads an global religion, where his authority is represented in the Bishops, which are represented in the priest. As such, the Priest , Bishops and Pope must be male.

This does not mean that the church views the contribution of Females as any lesser. I am sure you have noted the importance we have placed to Mother Mary's role in the Church, as the Mother of God and the Mother of Church. Hence women who wish to commit their life to God, can do so as a religious Nun , in service to different ministries. You have seen nuns who dedicate their life works in Hospitals ( Assunta / Fatima Hospital) , Education (Convent Schools) , Poor and Destitute ( Mother Theresa) or complete prayers ( Carmelite nuns) . They too take similar vows as the priest - Chastity, Obedience and Poverty. Also to note, the Catholic church follows not only the teachings of Christ through the Holy Bible, but also through the Holy traditions, as well as Theological intepretations and teachings such as Canon Law ( the law of the church). Holy traditions and Theological intepretations are all based on the Holy Bible.

Vow of Celibacy - Is one of the most important vow for a priest or religious. When entering into the sacrament of Holy Orders ( Ordanation as a Priest / Monk / Nun) the individual commits him/herself fully to Christ , and to service to Christ through his ministries and vocation. A commitment of life to God basically ( similar to Sacrament of Marriage - a lifetime commitment to your spouse) . In addition to this, in the life of service, the individual needs to focus on the ministry they are in fully and entirely, and not to be distracted with building and fostering a family, as their family is now the Church. Hence the individual leaves everything behind to serve God, especially the persuit of worldly pleasures and materials . Hence the Vows of Poverty , Chastity and Obedience.

I am sure many married couples can testify how difficult it is to focus on building the family, taking care of your spose, providing for the family. As a priest or religious, their "allegience" is to the church, as opposed to a married couple who needs to take care of one another. Having said that it is common , that Nuns / Priest have adopted children as their own to be the legal guardian. The act of celibacy extends to sexual acts and not only matrimony, as the point above highlights, sex is intended for the creation of life, hence masturbation is a sin.

Regards ,

Lincoln Lee

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Advent - Preparing for the coming of our saviour

The season of advent is always a contemplative season, of joy and happiness, as we prepare ourselves for the joyful occasion of the birth of our Lord. It is like preparing for the arrival of an important guest to our home, where you'll spend hours cleaning, preparing the food, making every thing is perfect. So the season of advent is the same.

Well this year 2009 I entered into advent with full knowledge of this and even begun advent with a prayer that I can prepare myself as best I can. Unfortunately I eventually got caught up with the business of the season - the stress of christmas shopping , dealing with family politics on the venue and menu for christmas eve dinner, participating in not one but two caroling groups, as well as trying hard to clear up my work schedule in a short working month of december. These gave me a convenient excuse to neglect my own preparations, and at the same time I felt and saw myself turning into a bitter and impatient person ; forgetting the true meaning of christmas. I skipped ( or avoided ) all penitential services.
As the days drew closer to christmas, I headed down to singapore where I thought I could catch a last minute reconciliation service. I was wrong all services was over and there were no more opportunity to attend confession for christmas. So much for house keeping.

On christmas eve, after the usual family dinner celebrations, there were the difficult discussion on when to attend Mass and when to open the presents as everyone had differing opionions and requirements. I announced that I will go for midnight mass on my own

As I walked to church , I became painfully aware of how I neglected the real reason for christmas. I neglected in preparing myself to welcome him - despite caroling Joy to the world in many homes. My heart and soul was no where near a state of grace befitting to welcome my saviour.

I stopped by the grotto before I went for mass and made a last minute plea to our Blessed Mother for the grace to truly be able to still welcome her son as she once did. I walked into chruch and sat in the pew. I half listened to the carols from the choir, contemplating and praying on how unprepared I was. I then realised that Jesus was borned in a manger, one of the lowliest and dirtiest place possible. He was not born in the best of hospitals, but among barn animals.

I realised that Our Lord came down among the lowliest to save us. He did not come to work with the mighty and rich, but among the poorest - poor and weak in many ways

I recall Fr Mike said that no matter how late you started your preparations , as long as you do , to open your heart sincerly and truly to welcome Him- that is all that matters. The labourer who worked for the last hour is paid the same wages as the labourer who started at dawn.

Despite my failings and sins , I am still His Beloved. I am His chosen one as I have chosen Him. He is mine and I am His. He has called me by my name before I was formed. For He is truly a merciful and loving God, and His love knows no boundaries.

" Unto us a child is born. And He will be called Mighty counselor, Prince of Peace, Almight God..."
Regards ,

Lincoln Lee

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A new year a new beginning

The year of the rat is over and a new year of the ox has begun.Thank God for the year of the rat is over and praise him for the new year.

2008 was a tough year and hopefully 2009 will be a more stable year despite the poor economic outlook

Signal Graces

Times are still tough and challenging especially in the office. I often feel very drain and demoralized everyday, and physically exhausted despite having a weekend break. My schedule has been very hectic, and I often do not have time to myself just to chill out and do the things i have to do or what to do. Lately I have been praying for direction and guidance in my life. Asking God if what I was doing is correct, especially more this weekend. I didn’t think much of it, but at the end of Sunset Mass last Saturday at SFX, as we were singing the recessional hymm, when I suddenly look up , and there was this old man, who looked like he was a bit crazy, walking pass me. As he walked pass me, he just flashed me a toothy grin and gave me the thumbs up .

 

Ordinarily I would have dismissed such an action, as an eccentric old man (missing a few marbles) being friendly to everyone. But at the time when I was seeking direction and affirmation in my life, this was too coincidental to ignore.

 

Well as ”Signal Graces are signs sent by God to help us make the right decisions in life. Moses saw a burning bush as a sign from God, and other people received signs from God daily. Signal graces usually come about as subtle hints to help keep us moving in the right direction - these signs are truly gifts from God.” - http://www.erosary.com/faq/view/about-the-rosary/what-is-a-signal-grace?/120.htm

 

I guess that was my signal grace from God that I am doing ok.

Our Father

Have you ever wondered how beautiful the prayer “ Our Father” is ? It is one of the most complete and substantial prayer, yet simple and easy to remember. Millions of catholics, and Christians around the world know this prayer by heart, not to mention others who are not Christians, but have often heard this prayer in the mass media .  Well here is my simple reflection on this prayer. I have been thinking about it, and something keeps telling me to post this online.

 

The Opening  - Calling upon God as our father, giving Him Glory and reverence. A simple yet elegant greeting to our God

Our Father

Who are in Heaven

Holy be your name

 

The Surrender – To remember that it is His will to be done, and not ours. Often we forget our focus on God and why we’re here on this earth, but rather prefer to pursue our own worldly pleasure. Here we remind ourselves and we offer to God, that His will , not ours be done

Your kingdom come,

Your will be done

On earth, as it is in heaven

 

The Request – A simple request, not an elaborate one asking for worldly pleasures, but to ask Him not only for our daily sustenance off what we need, but also our spiritual food. The graces to carry with our lives, through His mercy, we ask him to not only feed our physical being but also spiritual being. Bread in the Catholic Church means many things, including the normal bread made of Wheat, the bread of life ( Eucharist) and some refers to the bible as the Daily bread.

Give us today our daily bread

 

 

The Repentance – Here we humbly ask God for his forgiveness for our failings and our sins. But the important thing to remember is that we must not only seek for God’s forgiveness, but we have to forgive those who have done us wrong. Holding a grudge is a very unhealthy thing, and it eats away at your soul. In Matthew 18 : 21 – 35, Jesus says that in order to receive the God’s grace of forgiveness, we have to first forgive those who has wronged us. This in reality is really a difficult thing to do , as all of us know, but I guess, this part of the prayer, constantly reminds us, that not only do we receive the grace of God’s Mercy, but we too should be like Him and forgive others.

 

Forgive us our sins

As we forgive those who sinned against us

 

The Protection – Finally asking God for his guidance and protection, in everything we do. Here we submit to God , as his children, asking Him not only to protect us from physical dangers, but also to ask Him to help us to avoid sin, as well as to seek His guidance and wisdom in our daily challenges and problems. We acknowledge here that we are sinful beings, and that we need His help to live our life here on earth, so that it may be pleasing to him. We’re also telling God that he is in control of our lives, and that we come to Him, not only with our joys but also our trouble, very much like how a child will approach his father for help.  This is also a simple yet very powerful statement, asking God for protection against all spiritual evils i.e A prayer for exorcism, in 2 simple sentence.

 

Do not bring us to the test

But deliver us from evil

 

The prayer “Our Father” is a very simple yet powerful prayer. It takes about 1 minute to recite, yet covers everything that we possibly need. It covers our needs both spiritually and physically, yet it is a prayer that is often underestimated. Worst still many recite the prayer, without reflecting on the beauty of this prayer, hence not realising the power of this particular prayer. The “Our Father” is often a prayer many people take for granted.

 

If you are in a state of mind where you do not know what to pray, or just simply too busy to pray, saying the Our Father would be sufficient to ask God for everything that we want.

Crying Madonna

In response to the following query :

"Yo you guys i need u to clearify my doubt.? i just checked out a few
videos in youtube of mother mary and jesus appearing in some church
and some statue crying out tears of blood and even from a picture? how
can it be true? are those incident for real or either is there some
thing going behind it i wish to get your comments?"

 

It's very difficult to say, and often the Catholic church takes great pains to verify the authencity of church miracles or apparitions. It may even take years before the church will acknowledge it is genuine as the investigation is apparently very thorough . There have been many that has been declared genuine as well as many declared as fake.

 However being a human being, and a struggling catholic myself, it is no surprise that we often need physical evidence to convince us of our faith. And often we seek it in things such a apparitions and crying madonna's.  And on the flip side, a lot of con artist are well aware of the need, and many have manage to recreate the crying Madonna or such apparitions, or even the stigmata to profit from the faithful. This is the very reason, why the catholic church insist on thorough investigations before declaring any such miracles as genuine

 I guess it really boils down to how our  personal faith has grown. It is always best to look internally for the evidence of our faith. There are many miracles happening on a daily basis, if we open our eyes. Simple things as the stars, and the sun, the flowers, the miracle of child birth, the smile that brightens someone's day, a kind word, and not forgetting our CHOICE weekend, are the many miracles that tells us God is really present in our lives and that he is very involved in our lives. Only just if we make time to look for it, then we would never really need such apparitions or crying madonnas to convince us God really exist.

 

How Bless Are We...

As a Catholic, I have the privilege of attending morning mass everyday. I started the practice of attending weekday mass when I can, especially in particular times in need, or for special feast occasions. The privilege of attending morning mass is a great gift , that the Catholic Church can give, and sadly an under appreciated one.

 

This week, I decided I really need the presense of Jesus. I needed to go to Him, and to know that He is with me. Yes that teachings of the Church always emphasizes that Jesus is always with you, through thick and thin, but to go for weekday mass, allows you physically re-affirm it. Similar to confession, you are always though that Jesus will forgive you for your sins,but for many , I am sure there is a lingering doubt. Through the sacrement of reconciliation, you know you have received absolution and forgiveness through the ministry of the priest. So in Mass, you know that you not only spent valueable time in worship with Him, but also to receive Him through the Blessed Sacrement.

 

And when I come out from Mass, I feel stronger, knowing that I can face the challenges of each day. I walk out with a little smile on my face, like that of having a little secret.. the secret of knowing that I have Jesus with me today. That the problems and difficulties I face, no longer seems so big.  There is a bounce in my step, because I know, I have my Big Brother with me, ready to catch my if I trip .

 

That is how privilege we are, to have the opportunity to receive Jesus everyday.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest ~ Matthew 11:28

I decided to continue my journal of faith, namely because I find things very difficult in my life lately. While in perspective and relativity, the troubles I face these few months can be considered small, yet I feel very overwhelmed with what is happening. Nothing disastrous has happen in my life, but these few months and the coming months are really busy. I was recently promoted to a manager end of last year, having to fill in pretty large shoes left behind by my previous manager. On top of that , I was also "Promoted" in CHOICE to be the state coordinator. This has brought on a lot of new responsibilty in the past 6 months, with 9 more months of the year to go .

 

I am already very burnt out , and I now go through the day, where I can't motivate myself to get out of Bed. I have to deal with work problems, ranging from raging bosses, difficult clients, training new analyst, HR issues, basically a day to day of fire fighting. In CHOICE , it is also similar. This year calendar is pack  and my biggest worry is the service team. Alot of the seniors have left, and now only the current weekend co-ordinator is running things. It iis difficult for her to cope, so I am also still very involved in the service team .

 

Last week was the worst, where I really felt like breaking down and crying. It was the culmination of a horrible week, where I was dealing with a lot of personal matters. My sister was unloading her personal problems with her siblings on to me , and dragging me into the conflict. My car was bump from behind, resulting in my car trunk being flooded when it rains. I am worried sick about the preparations for CHOICE 83. I am co-ordinating with various sub teams in CHOICE to get things moving ini thier relevant teams. I had various office issues to deal with , such as starting a new project, having a new analyst on board, proposing new projects. I was / am struggling to balance time with family, friend , Choice and work .. all these "Yokes" culminated last week, and I was rushing to depart for a holiday to Hong Kong on Friday Morning 3 am , of which I was completely unprepared. Basically it was a shitty and crappy past few weeks, and it was just too much to bear.

 

During my short trip to Hong Kong, I originally planned to attend cantonese mass ( which i will not be able to understand) in a church behind my hotel. Due to my travelling companions change in timing, our itenary got swap around leaving it difficult for me to go for Mass on Sunday at St Benedict (behind my hotel) . I decided that I'll just simply look for a church around any area I was in on Saturday Evening ,and attend sunset mass there. As we didn't plan our Saturday Itenary, where we landed up ono Sunday evening was pretty much on random . I checked my list and found a church in the area, and it so happen to be a minute walking distance from where we were.

 

God certainly has a mysterious way of working.. and the chain of events, lead me to an English Mass in the Church of St Anne. It was Vocation Sunday. It struck me so strongly the messages that came out of the readings and the Gospel . The homily and hymns sent another strong message to me. It was a very emotional Mass for me. I was very tired, emotionally, spritually and physically... and God told me to go to him . He is my shepherd..     He lead me to St Anne's, so that I may hear his word in a language I understood, His messages, and that I could seek St Anne's Intercession

 

I felt guilty for the troubles i was going through, I also felt guilty for delaying in my decision on vocation, I felt guilty at my frustration. I felt guilty for not being Christ like,  But yet I also felt His love around me. I felt comforted , and that He wanted me to know He Knew, what I was going through. .

 

He brought me to St Annes, for a reason......

 

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11: 28-30)

Anger and Forgiveness

Anger is a very powerful and disruptive emotion, especially anger at another person. If it is allowed to brew and manifest itself in your heart and soul, I have found that it eats away at your soul. To hold anger and hate agaisnt someone is a very very unhealthy thing. It is this thing that just sits and brews in your heart, and it really brews very long and hard. While it brews, it destroys alot of things in you that it is good, the capacity to love, your humilty, your patience, your understanding and all the graces of God. It even blocks you from receiving God's Divine Mercy.

I've recently been very angry with a few people, for the past month or so, and I've comed to realised that this anger, resentment , and hate was eating away at my soul. It was making me exhausted, and it was tiring me out, just thinking about it. It limited me to show my love, and understanding towards other people, and slowly I found myself getting obsessed with it, neglecting the beauty of life.

It was commonly said, to err is human to forgive is divine. I have experienced that to received forgiveness is an even more beautiful thing. To receive forgiveness, from anybody, is equivalent to receiving God's mercy. I've experience that God's love, mercy and forgiveness is such a beautiful thing, that I cannot describe. It is this feeling for pure love and contentment.

As I've said, I was angry at a few people recently, and I found it was very unhealthy for me . A priest once told me , that anger leads to hate, which leads you to dispise someone. I went through that journey, and I didn't like it. I decided that enough was enough. If God can show me his Divine Mercy, I will trust in Him to grant me the graces of mercy. I went to the people who I was angry with , not to demand and apology, but to seek their forgiveness. I did not want them to bear the anger and ill will agaisnt me like how I beared it agaisnt them, and I wanted to start the road towards reconciliation. I went to apologise to them for my actions and anger I held towards them .

To me, personally , when I made this decision, and subsequently acted upon it, it brought down barriers that was blocking me from belonging. It allowed me to see the beauty in the person, no matter how much I was angry at that person, and it allowed to realise the challenges that person faces. Yes to forgive is divine, but to receive forgiveness is some thing that words cannot describe !

Spiritual Attacks

It is often said, one of the greatest things the devil has ever done was to make the world believe he doesn't exist. The concept of spiritual attacks and spiritual warfare is relatively new to me, yet by discernment and reflection, I have been able to see the various attacks that the devil does, to distract you from your every day task. Simple matters which ordinarily we'll wave it off as bad luck , or the other person is just being an idiot.

 

It is said that both the devil and God knocks softly at the door. It is true. While God knocks softly and waits to be let in, the devil will not wait. He will find any means and ways to get into your life, either directly or through other means. Temptation and anger are one of the tools that the devil will always use. Simple things such as a driver on the road not giving way, and you are angry at him, allows the devil to manifest his works in your life.

 

In Choice, I've found that the devil will stop at no means,to attack us, as we prepare for the weekend. I've seen that various circumstances on how the devil can attack our lives, as we prepare for Choice. It is actually quite amazing, but you also realize how deceitful his actions can be. It is like someone trying to manipulate your life. I've also learn that prayer is a very powerful weapon agaisn't the devil. It nourishes your soul, letting God into you life. When God is in ever more present in your life, it is even harder for the devil to get in. Subtlely , you will begin to notice  and realise the works of the devil and discern what is right and wrong.

 

I've often listen to the priest, during his homily, that when you love God, you'll eventually despise what is wrong. That is very true. I've also learnt that constant prayer and relationship with God allows you to learn and love him more. He is always there to love you. It is up to you to accept this love. He loves us so much, that He can never force his love unto us. He wants us to give it freely back to him from our hearts, when we are ready to accept Him. The main difference is one will manipulate you in anyways, while God waits for you to let him in. Till then , it is much easier for the devil to knock even louder, and who would you let into your soul ?